Lost ...... may it be Found

.... DEath .... an occurence second nature to me these days... I remember the early days when death came knocking on my family door... I would greive its arrival the pain , tears and disbelive often came hand in hand......

But ,the other day I gave a condolence visit to an aunt .... None of those humane feelings came crashing in on me.. A feeling of calm and composure made me feel lika an ice pricess... all dead inside....

So this is how it feels to loose one self in a journey.... Slowly the Medical feild is turning me into the very being i resent... One who lives by no code of Feeling....

The fuzzy warms no longer resides in my heart....Doctors ,they stand as broken men and women who hide them selves behind the white coat...under a disguise......

I feel like im fighting a loosing battle ... Will I win or will the FEILD take me..... or has it already taken me.....

The stress of exams loom like doom over my head.. The faces that bring me cold sweats loom like archangles devowering my fragile soul..... Will i survive.... Or should i Give in .... Quite the temptation i must say ....

...... I shall count the days ... Maybe a Miracle will happen .... Maybe i'll beat the system ..... hummmmmmm

Maybe i might even Find one that i lost ...... Myself