Wedding Bliss

Never in a million year i would have imagined being so complete ... but here i stand at a cross road in my life ... Married , committed, basking in the glory of being loved and loving someone more then life itself..... I thank you god for bringing me my soul mate ... the love of my life..... I shall forever be in ur debt... for u gave me my husband....

Yoga my boy

A young spirited human being i have held close to my heart in so short a time has suddenly parted ... His enthusiasm at life brought him into this world at an early 7 months of creation... He fought many battles of failing lungs poor heart... brain bleed ..infection ... but he fought hard and true... very adorable big brown eyes greet me every moring when i utter his name.. his responce at 5 months of age was amazing but suddenly he decided he was tired .. when i was not by his side he decided to take a long deserved rest... closing his eyes to the universe.. he took his leave peacefull..... my heart still feels his absence i still look to his cot to see him drool away but alas he is no longer with us,... A brave boy worth mentioning worth remebering .... this world will miss him.. may he have peace.

Mind over matter or.....

... An Idle mind often wonders on the cosmic workings of the mind and soul trying its best to unravel the complexities of the unknown .. should sanity always keep check on the heart and vice versa or should we once in our lives at least let our heart rule .. knowing disaster is on its way , knowing nothing good can come out of it, but jus t to live in the moment should we just let it be ...

Take a step at a time ,enjoy the present .. move forward ... tell reason to take a back seat....go from the heart and pray the consequence is not disaster...

Lets live for now.... Im at a juncture now .... after many long attempts to keep abay from the heart and keep check on sanity ...ive taken a blind leap.... blind faith stupidity desperation idiocity ignorance one can all it by many names but ive decided to enjoy the moment...

I pray the price i pay will not be so great that it will cost me all that i hold dear...

only time will tell...

A Loss so great im yet to grasp its intensity....

On tuesday 6/3/2007 was an unforgetable day ..... I lost someone.... Someone so dear so close she was my friend .. sister... philosopher...the one person i knew i could talk the world away with and i knew she would be there with me....... well actually i "thought" she would be there for me...

She cheated me and left all so sudden ........ she embraced death without looking back at all...

All she had was Fever.... 4 days of fever high but she sought no treatment thinking n ugly flu had raised its head..... she stayed home promising to return to work on wednesday .. sweet honey coated words she spoke..... masking her true pain .. maybe she too didnt realise she was on her way moving further away from us... maybe she thought it best ,she slept away into the night calm and serene leaving all troubles behind.......

......A selfish act........ she never made it thru the night she barely made it an hour in the hospital....

but she was around people who loved her who needed her who cherished her...

i keep thinking of picking up the phone calling her and telling her about this huge loss i suffered.. wanting to discuss how will i move on... how will i survive... my next plan of action .. then i remeber .. wait a min ...... she is the loss i have suffered.. she left me so fast my mind and heart are having trouble catching up with each other.... my mind knows she has gone but my heart refuses to accept.....

every call i get i hear her voice .. every moment of silence i see her face.....

I've been trained to accept death , process it in my system and move on.... it happens ..... I've seen so may of it.... to understand its a sensless loss that just happens ... no rhyme or reason....
What can i say ..... maybe im after all a human being...

God help me move on , make me brave make me whole.... save me...

May she rest in peace....and find happiness that she so deserves.
Give me a moment of silence for my "sister" M

The final unveiling

Welcome to the world ...Suri Cruise..... cradled in her fathers jacket ........the little angle looks to be a real heart breaker ...... The ever proud parents are a sight indeed literally hovering over her

A beautiful family. May they be blessed with more

Tears Flow in Memory of the Crocodile Hunter...

Australia - Steve Irwin, the hugely popular Australian television personality and conservationist known as the "Crocodile Hunter," was killed Monday by a stingray while filming off the Great Barrier Reef. He was 44.
Irwin was famous for his enthusiasm for wildlife and his catchword "Crikey!" in his television program "Crocodile Hunter."
Irwin's American-born wife Terri, from Eugene, Ore., had been informed of his death, and had told their daughter Bindi Sue, 8, and son Bob, who will turn 3 in December.
rwin's body was flown first to the city of Cairns and then to Queensland state's Sunshine Coast, the location of his family home.
As fans from around the world mourned his death, it was announced that a state funeral for Irwin would be held if his family so chose, an Australian state premier said.


Steve ....... the world has lost a great animal lover..... He lived his passion and thrived in it... its trully a great loss for us all.... I initially hated and squirmed when ever i saw him on tv dueling a croc or snake but as time went on ... I started to look forward to watching his shows as his raw enthusiasm flooded thru the screen and engulfed me ... and now Im saddened by this loss... I feel like i have lost a friend someone close to me... someone i know.... I guess to a certain extent i do know him and his family both at home and in the Australian zoo as they were in my living room weekly.... I will miss him

My heartfelt condolonces to the family.... my prayers are with u all ther....

"CROC'S RULE"

The idle mind ponders....

Life is a unique balance of right and wrong.... in order for us to move on we have to have struck a fine balance between them.... I supoose its a subjective thing..... we can only hope to live our lives with some conviction pray we enjoy life to a certain extent..... move in the river of time and hope we arrive at our maked destination......

Some times.... we might skid of the road, some times other drivers mis judge and slam into us.... but at the end of the day its up to us to pick ourselves up and move on....

..... A wise person once told me... life persay is actually problem free...... it is we ,humanity who creates all problems for ourselves..... we invite it with open arms...and at the end of the day have the odasity to blame one another.......

Such lost creatures we are....

This is central line which was done by me personally.. My first sucessful line... 

you can see the end of the central line at the medial aspect of the lung on the left side of this picture. 

Note the suturing on this patient.... you only see the thread on either end of the incision point. no criss crossing over the wound is seen.. Where is the rest of the thread.... well actually this is a subcutaneous suturing ... it is cosmetically much better.. This was actually done by ME all by myself... 

This is a CHEST X-Ray of a patient fitted with a PAcemaker...the pacemaker senses every P- wave and awaits for a QRS complex to be formed. If none are formed in a given time it will send an impulse to the ventricles to contract thus inducing a QRS complex.Eg.. in case of a heart block u find 2-3 P waves followed by 1 QRS complex.. So once a pacemaker is in for every P wave u have 1 QRS complex. This inturn increases the heart rate.... Cool huh.. its placed subcutaneously inder the skin over the Left chest wall 

This is how a pacemaker looks like . 

Lead II show's 2nd degree heart block for this patient .. Her heart rate was 30 -40 beats per min.....  

2nd degree heart block 

V2 .... THis is actually a Posterior wall infarct seen on V2, V3 and so on . In order to confirm this you invert this ecg seeing it from behind and u will find ST elevations....Mirror images.....a Right sided ECG is required... 

V3  

LEAD II ........ THe next 3 ecg Pictures show ST elevation at Leads II, III, avF ... Thus this patient has a Inferior MI 

LEAD III 

AT AVF 

A classic ECG finding in Ventricular tachycardia 

This Ecg was taken from a 70 year old indian female who has no known past medical history. she was found unconcious in her house by her grandchildren and was rushed to the hospital .. ECG in A&E showed deep T waves in all LEADS .... suggesting a wide infarct.. She was admitted to the CCu .... Ck/CKMB was marginally raised. she was started on S/C Clexane and Asprin and PLAvix.. No family members were around since time of admission.... there was no way to confirm or ask the premorbid status of this patient . Troponin T was taken twice both times tested negative.... patient was showing symptoms of dementia orientated to name but nothing else spoke with confusion.... she continued to be drowsy ...FInally after 3 days we managed to contact a family member and found that the patient was actually alert and very independant prior to this episode..... Prompting a CT scan of the brain sure enough there was a LARGE MCA infarct... Brain infarct also can have raised CK/CKMB as well as deep T inversion in all leads....  

lead II 

at V3 

these were from the rest of the leads 

What u are seeing is the inside of a bronchus of a 49 year old male who presented with Fever dysentry and cough for 3-4 weeks.... He had had recent travel history to bangladesh and developed dysentry there and gives history of drug abuse and active sexual life... on returning to malaysia he still had continious fever and Loss of weight....... on CXR a hypodense mass seen over the left apical region .....he was covered with antibiotics ...blood c&s was normal.... he was Anaemic Hb 8+... biopsy of this cobble shapped mass was taken. Proctoscopy reveled he has hemmoroids thus banding was done... a full CT thorax abdomen pelvis was done in view that the temperature refused to settle. CT showed a single ring like lesion on the brain . He discharged himself and wanted to wait for biopsy results at home. 3 weeks later once traced it showed necrotic tissue. fever still present. Ct guided biopsy of the mass was done. He was transfused again as HB still LOW. 1 week later biopsy results came back as Small Cell CArcinoma of the lung ,and the single round mass on brain was actually a metastatic lesion. Family wanted to discuss options before starting CHEMO Though strongly adviced to go for Chemo ASAP...in less than 2 weeks after confirmation of the results came, he started to develop Left sided seizures and was readmitted in emergency within 2 days he passed away..... Malignancy pulled wool over the eyes of us medical practisioners by hiding behing an atypical presentation .. It lead us to belive it was a travel related disease .... Immunocompramised disease..... and many more before settling to be the most fatal of em alll.....

A classic picture of pulmonary effusion ..... Diagnostic and theraputic treatment was pleral tap.... cause ?? malignancy 

This is a colonoscopy image in a 30 year old femala who is a known case of tuberculosis in remission with ESRF . She was readmitted for abdominal pain and on colonoscopy this was seen.... Even before the AFB x3 results are in she was started on ATT Just by looking at this .... WHY ????  

The answer is Because these 2 pictures were taken at the iliocecal junction and are classical images of Illiocecal tuberculosis. SUre enough the AFBx3 did come back as Positive and the she was retreated under our DOTS program. 

My darling doll