A Loss so great im yet to grasp its intensity....

On tuesday 6/3/2007 was an unforgetable day ..... I lost someone.... Someone so dear so close she was my friend .. sister... philosopher...the one person i knew i could talk the world away with and i knew she would be there with me....... well actually i "thought" she would be there for me...

She cheated me and left all so sudden ........ she embraced death without looking back at all...

All she had was Fever.... 4 days of fever high but she sought no treatment thinking n ugly flu had raised its head..... she stayed home promising to return to work on wednesday .. sweet honey coated words she spoke..... masking her true pain .. maybe she too didnt realise she was on her way moving further away from us... maybe she thought it best ,she slept away into the night calm and serene leaving all troubles behind.......

......A selfish act........ she never made it thru the night she barely made it an hour in the hospital....

but she was around people who loved her who needed her who cherished her...

i keep thinking of picking up the phone calling her and telling her about this huge loss i suffered.. wanting to discuss how will i move on... how will i survive... my next plan of action .. then i remeber .. wait a min ...... she is the loss i have suffered.. she left me so fast my mind and heart are having trouble catching up with each other.... my mind knows she has gone but my heart refuses to accept.....

every call i get i hear her voice .. every moment of silence i see her face.....

I've been trained to accept death , process it in my system and move on.... it happens ..... I've seen so may of it.... to understand its a sensless loss that just happens ... no rhyme or reason....
What can i say ..... maybe im after all a human being...

God help me move on , make me brave make me whole.... save me...

May she rest in peace....and find happiness that she so deserves.
Give me a moment of silence for my "sister" M