Lost ...... may it be Found

.... DEath .... an occurence second nature to me these days... I remember the early days when death came knocking on my family door... I would greive its arrival the pain , tears and disbelive often came hand in hand......

But ,the other day I gave a condolence visit to an aunt .... None of those humane feelings came crashing in on me.. A feeling of calm and composure made me feel lika an ice pricess... all dead inside....

So this is how it feels to loose one self in a journey.... Slowly the Medical feild is turning me into the very being i resent... One who lives by no code of Feeling....

The fuzzy warms no longer resides in my heart....Doctors ,they stand as broken men and women who hide them selves behind the white coat...under a disguise......

I feel like im fighting a loosing battle ... Will I win or will the FEILD take me..... or has it already taken me.....

The stress of exams loom like doom over my head.. The faces that bring me cold sweats loom like archangles devowering my fragile soul..... Will i survive.... Or should i Give in .... Quite the temptation i must say ....

...... I shall count the days ... Maybe a Miracle will happen .... Maybe i'll beat the system ..... hummmmmmm

Maybe i might even Find one that i lost ...... Myself

SlumBer..... is But a Dream.......

..... As the curtains of sight descend ... a wave of peace washed thru robbing u of counciousness..... All of the days events lay itself to rest with the physical being ... The mental host slips into oblivian...... resting itself .. calmly collecting thoughts and filing them away.......Then ,as the curtains unveil, ....A Refereshed new being is born

..... He who is wiser,calmer and above all rested....

I yearn for the days i get up and sleep in humane hours... its but a dream now.... Living a Routine .. No source of rest peace or content..... will i ever find it again .....

... Who would have thought such a simple thing like rested sleep was something so difficult to acheive..... its CRUEL Irony

Living IT

...... Looking at Mattie , his life , his acomplishments.... I stand to wonder at 90 ,would i have made ,as much a diffrence as this small guy has in just 13 years..

What have i lived,, Monotony is what we all live by . Its a wonder we take time to see the sun go up and down ...

Are we focused... I supose being focus in what you are doing gives some prespective to ur existence... Daily Mockery , Sacarsam , Insults add to injury . But do i take it to build character... or do i sit with the resignation to my fate....

If mattie was to do that .. His Life would have ended way before it began...

............... hummmmm i shall ponder ....

We Mourn Mattie Stepanek

Mattie Stepanek, the child poet whose inspirational verse made him a best-selling writer and a prominent voice for muscular dystrophy sufferers, died Tuesday of a rare form of the disease. He was 13.

Stepanek, of Rockville, had dysautonomic mitochondrial myopathy, a genetic disease that impaired his heart rate, breathing, blood pressure and digestion, and caused muscle weakness.

His mother, Jeni, 44, has the adult-onset form of the disease, and his three older siblings died of it in early childhood.

Stepanek began writing poetry at age 3 to cope with the death of a brother. In 2001, a small publisher issued a slim volume of his poems, called "Heartsongs.



FOR OUR WORLD

We need to stop.
Just stop.
Stop for a moment…
Before anybody
Says or does anything
That may hurt anyone else.
We need to be silent.
Just silent.

Silent for a moment…
Before we forever lose
The blessing of songs
That grow in our hearts.
We need to notice.
Just notice.
Notice for a moment…
Before the future slips away
Into ashes and dust of humility.
Stop, be silent, and notice…
In so many ways, we are the same.
Our differences are unique treasures.
We have, we are, a mosaic of gifts
To nurture, to offer, to accept.
We need to be.
Just be.

Be for a moment…
Kind and gentle, innocent and trusting,
Like children and lambs,
Never judging or vengeful
Like the judging and vengeful.
And now, let us pray,
Differently, yet together,
Before there is no earth, no life,
No chance for peace.

September 12, 2001
© Matthew Joseph Thaddeus Stepanek

DAy 1

Hummmmm .... I have a torential amount of work to scale thru ... but my dear fingers seem to have a mind of its own .... the fatal attraction to the keyboard seems to have won over.... :P A war i wager every day but still manage to loose ... miserably .... hahaha

Well Fisrt time online like this lets c if i manage to intrigue fellow blogs to run astray with imagination ...

Surgery posting is on for now ... dying in fear .... Never knew i would regret a posting so much ... imagin getting up sleeping living in pure fear... U poor unsuspecting souls.. little do u know what awaits u

I to date tell all pooR SPM students STAY AWAY FROM MEDICINE ....

Its not what they say its not a gracious feild to be in its a HORROR.
k gtg get back to studies cio ppl
catcha later